Access To Better Wigs
by spkdog
Summary: On a double date, Heather regales a story about why she's so good with an electric razor. ONE-SHOT


Heather sat on the couch with her boyfriend Alejandro. He had the remote and was flipping through channels. He lingered for a moment on a channel that was airing old Total Drama episodes. It was season 3 episode 16, when they were in Australia. It was right in the middle of the song.

"Ugh, why did you stop here?" Heather asked, annoyed.

"You know, you must be quite skilled with an electric razor in order to perfectly sheer a sheep whilst singing," Alejandro observed. "Had much practice, have you?"

A smile crept upon Heather's face as a memory came back to her. "Yes, actually, I have. It's a great story, you should hear it sometime."

"Can I hear it now?" Alejandro asked playfully.

"Only if you beg," Heather answered, eager to tease.

"But if it's such a good story, then you should be the one begging me to hear it," Alejandro retorted.

After a little more back-and-forth action, they were suddenly silenced by the sound of "Will you guys stop it already?"

"Cody! You'll give away our position!" Sierra hushed.

"There you guys are!" Heather exclaimed. "You were supposed to be here for our double date half an hour ago!"

Alejandro mumbled something angrily in spanish. He just didn't understand why Heather was so insistent on spending time with Cody and Sierra. Somehow, Cody and Heather had become good friends. And oddly enough, Sierra was okay with that because she and Heather had also become good friends. Alejandro didn't like either of them, and neither of them liked him much, but he put up with them to keep Heather happy.

"We were here on time, but Sierra grabbed me and made me hide so she could watch Aleheather in it's natural habitat," Cody explained.

"For my blog!" Sierra said, as if that justified it.

"Well, since you're both here and were listening the entire time, would you all like to hear my story?" Heather offered.

"Can I record it for my blog?" Sierra asked.

Heather smiled. "I'd prefer it if you did."

"Yay! A story about why Heather's so good at shaving as told by Heather herself!" Sierra squealed.

"Alright, so as you all know, in season one, during the game of _I Triple Dog Dare You, _Lindsay's dare on the wheel for for the recipient to get their head shaved. My head was shaved and I was wrongfully eliminated. I had to get revenge on Lindsay, and Beth too for betraying me."

"Didn't you betray them?" Cody pointed out.

"Well, yeah, but my thought process at the time was that they betrayed me," said Heather. "I didn't get a chance right away because I was focused more on winning season 2, though we all know how that came out."

"Of course," said Sierra.

"When does the story get interesting?" Alejandro asked. He was still in a bit of a foul mood from Cody and Sierra's rude interruption.

"If you would shut up and let me tell it, then maybe you see how interesting it is," said Heather.

"Oh! Oh! Why don't you tell the rest in a flashback!" Sierra suggested.

"Alright, good idea, Sierra," Heather responded.

"What is this world coming to that she thinks Sierra of all people has good ideas," Alejandro mumbled to himself.

_Flashback_

_Heather looked in the mirror. She had just gotten her hair extensions, and they blended in perfectly. She looked like she had normal hair again, finally. And just in time, too. The Gemy Awards were coming up soon, and she was tired of being bald on TV._

_As she finished adjusting everything, she thought about Lindsay. This was her fault. She should suffer. And Beth, too. As she looked at her hair, she knew the perfect method of revenge. Sure, it would take some practice, but she could do it._

_She began her training the next day. She would have to be quick, quiet, and accurate. For this to work, she would need absolute precision._

_Within due time, her training was complete. And the perfect opportunity to execute her plan had arisen. It was the night before the Gemy Awards, and Lindsay and Beth had an amazing preparation sleepover planned. This was where Heather would make her move._

_She snuck into Lindsay's home - that's where this was taking place - and waited in the shadows. She rolled her eyes as she watched their lame attempts at fun, and yet was very amused at the prospect that they had no idea she was there._

_She waited and waited, until eventually the two girls had fallen asleep. A sinister grin was painted upon her face. She slipped out of her hiding place and discretely started the electric razor. She started with Lindsay, the one who deserved it the most. Lindsay was so empty-headed that she didn't notice how much lighter her head was becoming. Heather chuckled silently to herself as she performed this devious deed.  
_

_She moved on to Beth. Beth was a little harder to shave, she moved around a bit in her sleep. But Heather could handle it. And before the night was out, both sleeping friends had perfectly shaven heads. How fitting. Now that Heather had enough hair again, it was time for them to suffer._

_With her handy work complete, Heather moved back into her hiding spot. Of course she had to stay to see their reactions. She herself ended up falling asleep waiting for them to wake up. But she didn't miss a thing. Lindsay screamed the second she woke up, instantly setting Heather at attention._

_Heather was not the only one awakened by Lindsay's scream. Beth bolted up like a rocket to see what was causing her friend distress. "What is it, Lindsay? What's wrong?" Suddenly, Beth gasped at the sight of Lindsay's hairless head. "Oh my gosh! You're hair!"_

"_My hair?! But I was screaming at your hair! What's wrong with my har?" Lindsay's hands went instantly up to her head, where she felt nothing but skin, causing her to scream yet again._

"_My hair?" Beth likewise felt at her own head, prompting the same result._

_Lindsay and Beth were freaking out like chickens with their heads cut off, and Heather found it extremely hilarious. She couldn't help but begin to laugh hysterically. She had one hand pressed to her mouth in an attempt to keep her laughter silent. She couldn't afford exposing her hiding spot before the show was over. Luckily, Lindsay and Beth were too freaked out to notice the strange sounds of subdued laughter._

_Her other hand was wrapped around her abs, which were already beginning to ache from the intense laughing fit. Her face was flushed completely red and tears shot out of her eyes. Revenge was oh-so sweet, and the sight was just too priceless!_

"_What are we going to do?!" Beth asked in a panic. "The Gemy Awards are tonight!"_

"_Um, ok, ok, calm down!" Lindsay urged, although not following her own advice. "I know where we can get wigs! Like, really good wigs!"_

"_Oh, yeah, because that worked so well for Heather!" Beth shouted sarcastically, recalling how even though Heather tried to pass off with a wig in season two, it failed miserably._

"_I have access to better wigs than Heather! No one will ever know that we don't have hair!" Lindsay insisted._

_I hope you're right," Beth replied. The two girls rushed out of the room._

_Now that the room was vacant, Heather allowed herself to laugh freely. She fell from her hiding place and hit the ground with thud. She began rolling around in a full-on fit of hysterics, pounding her fist to the floor. She laughed loud and proud, her obnoxious laughter filling the room. Her plan had gone off without a hitch, everything was perfect._

_Back to Present_

"OH MY GOSH!" Sierra screamed. "That explains so much! When we were on that boat at the beginning of season four, I caught this picture of Lindsay in the bathroom looking at what appeared to be a simple haircut, but when we saw her later that day, her hair was the same length it always has been. What really must've happened was that her hair was growing back in nice and even and she was contemplating whether to put the wig back on or pretend she got a hair cut. Obviously, she ended up putting the wig back on and waiting until her hair was back to full length for permanent wig removal."

"See there, you even have evidence to back up my story," said Heather.

"And I caught this picture of Beth at a hair salon with her hair all jagged and messed up," Sierra continued. "Her hair must've grown back quickly, but not evenly, so she had to get it professionally done to make it look even at all slightly presentable. I can't wait to put this all on my blog! The fans are gonna love this! Heather's perfect revenge, and no one even knew it happened!"

"I'll admit, it was a pretty entertaining story," Alejandro admitted.

"Yeah, well-played, Heather," Cody complimented.

"I am amazing," Heather smiled. Once again, she had captivated her audience.


End file.
